Adventures in Engrish

To the trained eye, dollar stores are a constant source of Engrish amusement, particularly in the toy aisles. You will never find a more hilarious collection of Engrish than on cheap toy packages. I'm reminded of a plastic M-16 rifle, its packaging decorated with bootleg images of Morpheus from The Matrix. The name of the gun was "Dream of Cracker". Remember that Morpheus is the black guy. Yeah.

One random item in a downtown El Paso shop was called "Intellective Plank" - it looked like some kind of magnetic fish pond game. If anyone knows what an Intellective Plank is, I'd like to know. Maybe they mixed up the whole "walk the plank" pirate thing with oceans and fish and came up with that gem of a name. Who knows. On a trip to Niagara Falls, there was a gift shop containing Engrish bouncy balls. "EXCITING BALLS! Give it a squeeze to become Locky Man of All World!"

Read on to discover how Locky you can be. All photos snapped with a camera phone and unedited (except sharpened for clarity).

Trip 1
10/22/05 - El Paso's Biggest Dollar Store
Featuring Fast 2 Surmount, Be Without Equal Racer, and Preeminent Car!

Trip 2
2/4/06 - El Paso's Biggest Dollar Store
Featuring Prettiness Bi Bi, Refinement Snow Dog, and Power of Matrix!

Trip 3
Summer 2006 - El Paso's Biggest Dollar Store (final excursions)
1/7/07 - El Paso Discount Mall
Featuring Benign Girl, Knock Up Against Restore Car, and "Finding Sudowoodo"!

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