Too Much Suntan Lotion

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own anything. *sighs sadly*

"Gosh darn it, James!" Butch yelled as he hopped out of a car. "Next time you rent a car, ask for one that has an air-conditioning system that works!"

"Really! I was practically melting during the entire trip," Cassidy agreed as she, too, quickly got out of the over-stuffed car.

"Well excuse me! I couldn't help it if we didn't have much money to spare," James argued.

Jessie sighed and rolled her eyes at her partner's remark. "You know, if we hadn't spent all of that money on doughnuts, chips, soda, crackers, and sandwiches, we might have had enough money to rent something with more value," she said as she kicked the car.

Mondo tossed his shoes off in the car and jumped into the warm, yellow sand. "Yay!" he yelled as he wiggled his toes into the sand. "I'm just glad that we're finally here!"

"Well I'm not." Meowth slowly trudged out of the worthless car and slowly walked on the sand. "Dis place is too hot and dere's too much wata."

"Think of it this way Meowth," Jessie said as she put on her sunglasses to protect her eyes from the sun's evil glares. "Just pretend all of this sand is a great, giant litter box."

Meowth looked at her weirdly. "Why would I want to go in front of everybody?"

"Enough with all of the chattering! Can't you all come and help me unload everything?" Butch said from inside of the car.

"Okay, I'll help you out," James volunteered. He reached into the car and pulled out a huge cooler that was loaded with drinks and an endless number of baskets containing food. He grinned, "We have to bring the essentials out first!"

Butch grumbled as he carried out the backpacks and sacks containing clothes and other vital beach necessities.

While humming happily, James poked his head into the car and came out carrying some flowerpots with roses in them.

Butch glanced over and sighed. "Okay, I'm only going to ask once. Why did you bring those with you to the beach?"

"I thought you were smart, Botch! I guess I thought wrong. I didn't want to leave my precious babies at home and wilt. I had to take them with so I can make sure they don't get lonely," James said while cuddling the pots.

Cassidy glared disgustedly at the roses. "I hope they bake under the hot sun. Hey, Butch! Can you hand me my bag? I want to get out of this outfit."

Butch tossed her the bag and grabbed his backpack. "I'm going over to the dressing rooms, too. Anyone else want to come?"

"Yeah, we're coming," Jessie answered as she picked up her bag and James's. She looked over at James who was carrying some watering pots from the car. "Come on, James! You can take care of the roses later."

James gently put the rose supplies on the ground and followed Jessie. He noticed Mondo happily playing around in the sand. "Let's go, Mondo."

"Okay!" Mondo picked his bag of clothes up and ran after everyone else while yelling "Ow! Ow! Ow!" from the very hot sand.

Meowth sat down in the sand to wait for the humans to come back. He sighed and daydreamed about other places that he wished he could be at the particular moment. No use, he thought. Thanks to the abundance of sand, the only place he could only think of was the litter box.

~^~^~

"Well I must say that this bikini looks absolutely divine on me!" Jessie proclaimed as she dumped her bag onto the sand.

"I'd say so," Mondo drooled. James only looked at him, disgustedly.

Cassidy sighed. "You should have listened to me in the mall! That bathing suit is meant for an old lady, not you. But nooo! You didn't follow my expert fashion advice. Then again, you do look haggish so the bathing suit does complement you."

"Shut up, Cassidy," Jessie growled. "You should have listened to me, but you went ahead and bought a bikini that doesn't hide any of that fat."

The flaming pig-tailed girl got ready to kick sand at the little red-haired girl, but James's whining made her stop. "Can you please stop arguing about bathing suits?"

Jessie shrugged. "Fine, but don't come whining to me when Butch kills one of your roses."

At the sound of his name, Butch quickly moved his foot away from the flowerpots, but not fast enough for James to notice. "Botch!!!! Don't you dare knock them over!!"

Butch whistled innocently as James inspected the roses for any damage. He sighed happily when he decided that all of the roses remained intact. As he stood back up, he noticed that everyone was either barefooted or wearing sandals. He giggled, "Oops, I forgot to take off my shoes." James slid the shoes off his feet and immediately everyone covered their noses.

"Wait a minute!" Butch yelled. "We have the ocean air to blow away the nauseous and poisonous fumes. We don't have to worry this time."

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Then Jessie reached for her suntan lotion and started to spread it all over her arms, legs, neck, and face. When she could reach no more places, she called to James. "James! Get over here and rub the lotion on my back!"

James blushed as Butch laughed slyly and nudged him with his elbow. "Don't get too excited there."

"I won't," James giggled embarrassedly as he trotted over to Jessie. But Mondo was way ahead of him.

"I'll help you out!" Mondo said cheerfully as he squirted too much lotion into his hand and slapped it onto Jessie's back.

"Oh my gosh! That's cold!!" Jessie yelled as the lotion touched her back. "Stop it, Mondo!"

"Yeah! Stop! That's my job!" James whined and tried to push Mondo out of the way.

Mondo laughed while he stood up and wiped his hands off on his swimming trunks. "Too late! But don't worry, I think Jessie will be well-protected from the sun!"

"That's because you put a gallon of cold suntan lotion on me," Jessie complained. She put on her sunglasses and lied on her blanket underneath her beach umbrella. "Now I don't want to be disturbed while I catch up on my beauty sleep."

"How boring!" Cassidy scoffed. "We came all this way out to the beach and all you're going to do is just lie there? You might as well just stayed at home."

Butch shrugged and started to walk off. "That's her problem, but as for me, I'm going to walk around and check out the, uh, scenery."

"Scenery...?" Cassidy questioned skeptically. "Yeah right, we all know what you're really going to be checking out."

Butch snickered as he sauntered off. Meanwhile, Mondo was running towards the ocean. "I'm hitting the waves!"

"Wait! I'm coming with you! I want to go swimming, too!" Cassidy yelled as she ran to catch up with Mondo.

James tried to run after them but couldn't catch up. "Hey! Wait for me! I want to have some fun!" he whined.

Jessie rolled her eyes after hearing his voice. "Well, Meowth," Jessie said, glancing over at the cat, "it looks like it's only the two of us."

Meowth only sighed and stretched back on the warm sand and took a catnap.

~^~^~

"Too cold!" Mondo yelled as he jumped out of the water and onto the sand. "Too hot!" he yelled again as he quickly put his feet in the water. "Too cold!" he yelled and hopped onto to sand. "Too hot!" he yelled and jumped back into the water. "Too cold!" he yelled for the millionth time as he jumped on the sand.

"Just get in the water!!" Cassidy screamed and pushed him into the water.

"COLD!" Mondo yelled but he quickly got used to it and began to leap around in the water.

Cassidy pulled James's arm and tried to drag him into the ocean. But James tried not to budge. "What's wrong with you?"

James looked timidly into the water. "Um...nothing..." he stated and slowly followed her into the water.

"WEEEEEEEE!!!! This is so much fun!!" Mondo said as the huge waves splashed up against him.

"Oh gosh, Mondo! You're acting like a dolphin in all of these waves. Can't you calm down?" Cassidy wondered.

"Hmm....nope!!" Mondo said as he jumped into more waves.

Cassidy rolled her eyes as she went back to swimming against the waves. "You're hopeless."

James cautiously swam as slow as he could while he was glancing at all of the water his eyes could see.

"James!! Have some fun!!" Mondo yelled as he leaped out of the water.

"Yeah, you're acting like you're scared of the water or something. Don't be a baby," Cassidy teased. "The water won't bite you."

"But something else might..." James's voice trailed off before he started to whine again. "And I'm not being a-" He couldn't finish his sentence because he was all of a sudden pushed into the water. He frantically kicked around in the water a few times before he surfaced.

Mondo loudly laughed. "You should have seen the look on your face!"

James was gasping for air and trying to push his long hair out of his eyes. "Did you push me in the water?!"

"Yep!! You needed to get acquainted with the water and have some fun in it! It won't hurt you!" Mondo said happily as he swam off on his back.

"I don't know about that..." James said nervously as he looked closely in the water.

"James! You need to stop being so paranoid. Mondo's right, you won't get hurt as long as you know how to swim. There's nothing to worry about," Cassidy told him. "But you're just lucky that Butch didn't see you almost drown because he would never let you forget it," Cassidy smirked. Then she glanced off into the distance. "Speaking of the devil..."

Butch was walking against the waves out towards them. He rolled his eyes when he saw James still glancing nervously in the water. "James, what are you so scared about? You look like you're about to wet your pants. But don't worry, no one will notice since they're already wet with the ocean water."

"Botch! That's not funny! I'm not going to do something like that because I'm not scared about anything," James said, trying to smile.

"Yeah right, don't let him fool you," Cassidy said to Butch. "You missed him practically drowning in the water when Mondo pushed him in. He's being a big baby about everything."

"Aw, darn! I missed all of the fun!" Butch lamented as James pouted.

"So why are you back so early? Weren't you going to check out the, uh, scenery?" Cassidy wondered while rolling her eyes.

"Yeah," Butch said while slowly paddling in the water, "but the scenery is really old. There are all of these grannies here wearing their old-lady bathing suits. Talk about a turn off."

"Aww, poor Butch," Cassidy sarcastically said as she threw a piece of seaweed at him. Just then, Cassidy's eyes grew wide and she let out a loud scream. "AAAaaaahhhh!"

"What's wrong, Cassidy?!" Butch asked worriedly.

Cassidy pointed to her leg and sobbed. "Something stung me!" she yelled as she tried to fight back tears.

"Oh crud! It must have been a jellyfish," Butch said nervously. He took her hand and led her out of the water. "We'll go over to the first-aid station so you can get something to treat the sting."

James looked very worried. "I told you bad things can happen out here!"

Butch sighed, "You just shut up and stay out here with Mondo."

"Okay..." James said doubtfully as he swam around very carefully.

~^~^~

Jessie lifted up her glassed and rose up from her blanket when she saw Butch walking and Cassidy limping towards her. "Well well well, what do we have here?"

Cassidy frowned and she slowly sat down in the sand. "A stupid jellyfish stung me and now I can't go back into the water because the sting hurts too much for me to barely walk. So now I'm stuck here with you." She kicked some sand and frowned some more. "What a waste of a vacation."

"Don't worry too much, now you can get your beauty sleep like I am doing. You really need that beauty sleep, too," Jessie smirked. She turned to Butch, "So how's James doing out there?"

"I think we should have brought some water-wingies or a life jacket. He looks like he's about to drown out there. Oh, and a water-proof diaper. I think he's gonna need that, too," Butch snickered.

Jessie chuckled as she lower her sunglasses onto her face. But before she did, she noticed a person and a pokemon walk past their area. She poked Meowth awake. "Hey Meowth, isn't that a Persian?" she said as she pointed at the pokemon.

Meowth rubbed his eyes sleepily and looked in the direction of Jessie's finger. "Hey, yeah, it is. Heh, I feel bad for it. Dere's too much wata here for a cat."

Butch shielded the sun out of face with his hands as he looked over at the person and pokemon as they camped out a few meters away from their own site. "Hey...this is going to sound funny, but is that the Boss?"

Cassidy sat up and looked over. "Yeah, I think it is...and he complains that we take vacations too often."

Butch continued to look over at the Boss and Persian. All of a sudden, he gasped and covered his mouth. "Look...look at what he's wearing," he stuttered.

Jessie shaded her eyes and studied the Boss. Her eyes grew wide after a second. "Oh my gosh, he's wearing Speedos!"

"Ewwwww! I don't think those things could get any, uh, smaller than they already are!" Cassidy gagged.

Butch groaned and turned away. "I think I've been traumatized! I keep getting all of these nasty images stuck in my head!"

"That was disturbing," Cassidy agreed. "Too bad we don't have a camera, this would make excellent blackmail," she added evilly.

Butch laughed and glanced over at the Boss again. "Uh oh, I think he saw us because he's coming over here," he said as his shoulders fell.

"Oh great, we're going to listen to an old guy wearing Speedos give us a dumb lecture," Jessie groaned.

"Would one of you please inform me of what you are doing out here when you are supposed to be working?" the Boss asked when he reached their site.

"Well, uh, we, uh, um....." Jessie stuttered. She took a deep breath and tried to answer but then her eyes caught site of what the Boss was wearing so she lost all seriousness.

"We were just..." Butch tried to answer but started to laugh.

"What is so funny?!" the Boss demanded as he watched them collapse in fits of laughter. He growled, "When you get back to the Headquarters, I'm going to make you all pay by-" a scream interrupted his scolding.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" James screamed while waving his arms like crazy and running to the group from the ocean's water.

"There's....there's...there's...." James stammered nervously.

"Spit it out!" Butch anxiously said.

"There's-" he was about to answer but then he saw the Boss...and what he was wearing. "Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!" he yelled loudly. He ran to Jessie's arms and muttered, "That's even scarier."

Jessie grabbed James by the shoulders and roughly shook him. "Why did you come screaming to us?!"

"There's a shark!! I saw a shark out there in the water!!" James quickly said.

"A shark? Are you sure?" Cassidy said in disbelief.

James nodded furiously. "Yes! I'm positive! And Mondo's still out there!! He might get hurt!"

The Boss sighed and ran out into the water in a very dramatic fashion in search of the so-called shark.

Butch shook his head. "I can just hear the Baywatch music playing."

The Boss returned and was carrying a small bundle of gray cloth. He returned to their site and dropped it in the sand. "Your "shark" was just an old pair of swimming trunks that were floating in the water. Now if you will please excuse me, I must go back to my area and soak up some sun. Oh, and I want to see you bright and early at the Headquarters next week," he said as he walked away to his Persian.

Butch groaned as the nasty images of the Boss returned in his head. He quickly shook his head and looked at James. "How on earth can you mistake these shorts as a shark?"

"You must be really dumb! These don't even look anything like a shark! You should be really embarrassed and ashamed of yourself," Cassidy put in.

"But they looked like a shark when they were floating out in the water!" James whined and blushed.

"That's no excuse, James!" Jessie yelled. "You have to stop so scared all the time. Why can't-" Jessie was interrupted by yet another scream.

"That sounded like Mondo!" Butch said after hearing the loud scream.

James gasped, "Maybe a shark got him!"

"James..." Jessie said while rolling her eyes.

"OH MY GOSH! WHERE ARE THEY?!!!" Mondo yelled audibly all the way from the water.

Jessie yelled, "What is it, Mondo!!"

Mondo yelled something but no one could hear him from the sound of the waves crashing.

"Mondo! You're going to have to come over here and tell us! We can't hear you!!" Cassidy yelled to Mondo.

Mondo quickly shook his head and yelled, "NO!!!!"

"Well what's wrong then?!" Jessie yelled impatiently.

"MY TRUNKS!!" Mondo yelled back.

"Huh...?" Butch wondered, but then he glanced down at the "shark." "Uh oh...hey, I think James's shark was Mondo's swimming trunks that had fallen off..."

Cassidy rolled her eyes and handed Butch the trunks. "You better go give these to him, for all of our sakes."

Butch hurried out to the water and gave Mondo the swimming trunks. After he quickly slipped them on underwater, he followed Butch back to the group with a huge grin on his face.

"Mondo, how come it took you that long to finally figure out that you lost them?" Cassidy asked him.

Mondo scratched his head for a moment. "I don't know," he finally said, "I guess I was just having too much fun jumping around, I didn't even notice they fell off!"

Cassidy exasperatedly sighed. "I think I would notice right away if part of my bathing suit fell off."

"I think I would notice right away too if her bathing suit fell off!" Butch slyly said as his eyes grew wide.

Cassidy threw some sand at him as Mondo said shyly, "I kind of had wished that Jessie had brought my trunks over to me..."

"Whoa! Mondo! I didn't know you thought those kind of thoughts!" Butch laughed.

"That's because he's been hanging around you too much," Jessie said angrily.

James only pouted and whined, "I'm starving! Jessie! I want some food!"

She reached into a cooler and pulled out a sandwich and a soda and tossed them to James. "Go stuff yourself."

James quickly tore off the wrapper on the sandwich and was just about to bite in when a huge gust of wind blew and sand flew everywhere. "Oh no! There's sand in my sandwich!" James said sadly.

"Welcome to the beach, James, where everything gets sandy. Just eat it," Butch told him as he sat down and bit into his own sandwich.

James took a little nibble of his sandwich and gagged. "This tastes horrible! I can't eat this! Who knows what touched the sand that flew in my sandwich!" He angrily threw his sandwich on the ground.

Mondo saw the sandwich go airborne and he jumped after it. "How can you waste a perfectly good sandwich?!" he wondered as he picked the sandwich off of the sand. He took a big bite into it and sighed happily. "This tastes excellent!"

Jessie again reached into the cooler and pulled out a bag of chips and tossed them to James. "I think the saltiness of them will hide the taste of the sand," she told him.

Butch walked over to the cooler and also took out a bag of chips. He opened the bag, but instead of eating them, he tossed them out in the sand, around James. "Heh heh," he silently chuckled to himself.

Mondo's eyes shot up as he saw the chips fall and he quickly dove on the sand and started to eat them up. "Mmm! They taste even better when they're coated with sand!" he said as he shoved some chips in his mouth.

"Stop it!" Butch yelled as he kicked Mondo out of the way. "Don't eat them."

Mondo curiously looked up at Butch. "Why not?"

Butch smiled as he put his hand to his ear and just stood there. A few minutes later, he grinned happily. "Heh heh! Here they come!"

"Who? Who's coming?" James asked with his mouth full of chips.

Butch pointed towards the sky and James's eyes followed his finger. Above James were a flock of sea gulls that were cawing angrily at James. "Eeeeeeeeeeek!" James shrieked and ran behind Jessie. "They're going to get me!"

"They won't hurt you, they only want the chips," Cassidy said when the sea gulls landed in the sand and fought over the chips.

James looked nervously over Jessie's shoulder until all of the chips were gone and the birds had flown away. "Is it okay now?" said the still scared James.

"Yeah, it's okay, you can go back now," Jessie told him. She gave him another bag of chips to calm him down. She lied back down and hoped there wouldn't be any more interruptions with her sunbathing. However, she frowned when she thought she felt something under her. She was about to shrug it off until a tight pinching caused her to jump up. "OW!"

"What's wrong, Jess?" James wanted know.

"I don't know, but something is pinching me in the back and I can't reach it!" she said as she jumped up and down.

"Oooh! Looks like fun!" Mondo said as he joined Jessie by hopping up and down.

"Shut up, Mondo! It hurts!" Jessie yelled at him. Finally the pinching sensation stopped and Jessie turned around. She saw a small crab scurry off on the sand.

Cassidy rolled in the sand with laughter as angrily Jessie stomped back to her blanket. "You should have seen the way you looked when you were jumping all of the place when the crab was pinching you! You looked like the Easter Bunny!"

"Ha ha, very funny," Jessie lamely said when she inspected her blanket before lying back down.

Butch groaned and rubbed his back and shoulders. "Speaking about pain, I think I didn't put on enough suntan lotion. I'm getting a major sunburn."

"That explains why you look like a crab and are acting like one," James giggled.

Butch rolled his eyes and walked over to the car. He stuck his head in, rummaged around a bit, and pulled out a Frisbee. "Hey, Mondo, wanna toss this around for awhile? Everyone else is being deadbeats to have any fun."

"Sure!" Mondo eagerly joined him in tossing the toy around.

After a few successful catches by Mondo, Butch threw the Frisbee really fast. "Let's see catch it this time!"

Mondo leaped into the air and fortunately was able to catch it. However, he had no control of where he was going and fell...on James's roses.

"MY BABIES!" James yelled after he saw what happened. He quickly pushed Mondo off of the flowers and inspected the damage. "Awww, they got squished!" he said very sadly. "Poor things!"

Butch walked over and shook his head. "I told you that you shouldn't have brought them with you."

James just ignored him and gently carried the rumpled roses back to the car. "You guys stay in here where it's safe," he whispered gently to them. He walked back over to everyone else and sat down with a huge pout on his face.

"They will be okay," Jessie told James and put her hand on his shoulder. Noticing that James wasn't cheered up, she pointed over to Meowth who was busy playing in the sand. "Why don't you go build sand castles with Meowth."

"Okay..." James slowly agreed and walked over to Meowth. He sat down and began patting the sand to form some castles.

"This is so boring," Butch muttered. He turned around and looked at the Boss who lying in the sand. "Hmmm, hey Mondo, do you want to have some fun?" Butch asked him.

"Yeah! Yeah! Fun!" Mondo jumped up and followed Butch who was walking towards the sleeping Boss.

Butch got a handful of sand and dumped it on the Boss's leg. "Let's cover and bury him with sand!" Butch slyly suggested.

Mondo gasped and clapped his hands. "Yeah!!!! This is going to be fun!!!" He got down on his knees and began pushing some sand to cover the Boss.

After 20 minutes, Butch stepped back to admire their hard work. "Heh! Now we don't have to worry about seeing him in his skimpy bathing suit."

Mondo laughed and sprinkled some sand on the Boss's nose. "I wish someone would cover me with sand!"

Butch scoffed and went back to the gang. When he approached James, he took a swift kick at the marvelous sand castle James was working on.

"Hey!!" James stood up and yelled.

"That's what you get for calling me Botch all the time," Butch smirked at him.

"That's not funny!" James said and slapped Butch on the back.

"Oh my God!!! That hurts!! Why did you have to hit me on my sunburn??!!" Butch screamed at James.

"Why did you have to ruin my castle?" James pouted.

"Arg! I already told you! I had to get revenge on you," Butch grimaced as he rubbed his sore back.

"That's no excuse!" James said and his lip began to tremble.

Butch groaned and faced James. "Look, I'm not in the mood to put up with you. My back feels like it touched the sun. I really want to go in the car and drive back home. Besides, it's getting late and I don't want to see the Boss when he wakes up."

"Good idea. I want to go sit on the couch and put my leg up," Cassidy agreed and massaged her leg.

"I want to go home and use da real litter box," Meowth put in.

"Oh okay," Jessie agreed and began gathering everything and shoving it all in the car. "I don't know how we're going to fit in there again with all of that junk and with no air-conditioning, but I guess we'll manage."

"I really don't care. I just want to put some ice on my shoulders and back right now," Butch groaned.

James ran to the car and moved some things around in it. "Jessie!" he whined, "You threw your backpack on my roses!"

"It doesn't matter, they're already ruined," she told him as she watched his eyes widen.

"You don't even care about my babies!" he argued.

"James! You can fix your roses later when we get home. Now get the car keys and drive us all home, please," Jessie begged.

James shrugged and reached into his pocket. "Um..." he muttered and reached into his other pocket. "Uh, does anyone have the car keys?"

"Oh great! Please don't tell me you lost them!" Butch pleaded.

James grinned nervously, "Okay, I won't tell you."

Jessie dropped to her knees and began searching the sand. "I can't believe you lost them!"

"I can," Butch angrily declared and dug into the sand.

"We'll find 'em! We'll find 'em!" Mondo singed as he joined everyone else in digging in the sand.

After a half hour of digging in the sand, Cassidy called out, "Found them!"

James giggled as he reached over to grab the keys. "I guess I must have dropped them when I was playing in the sand."

"Dat's nice, Jimmy. But can we please go home?! I need ta use da litter box," Meowth said.

"Has it ever occurred to you that you are surrounded by a giant litter box?" Jessie asked the cat.

"I already told ya! Dere's no privacy!" Meowth yelled as he scratched Jessie's face.

"Don't worry, Meowth, we are leaving," James assured him. He stood up and walked to the car. But he slowed down when he saw a menacing shadow behind the car. He took one look at the figure and shrieked, "EEEEeeeek! It's the Sandman!!!" he ran and hid behind Jessie.

"Huh? The Sandman?" Butch wondered. He turned around and he almost believed James that it was the Sandman since the figure was covered in sand. But after he got a good look at him, he changed his mind. "Uh, James, that's not the Sandman. It's someone worse," Butch nervously said and quickly got into the car.

"Whoever did this to me is going to pay!!!!!" the sandy Boss yelled.

"Hurry James! Step on it!" Jessie urged James once the entire gang safely got in the car.

As the car sped away, all of the beach's visitors turned to look at the sandy guy in Speedos who was shouting obscenities at the vehicle.

The End!

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