The Secret of MissingNo

By Mandy Nader

Eric sank to his knees, burying his face in his hands. "What have I done?" he groaned, rainwater streaming down his face. "Those... things are loose and it's all my fault!"

"We'll get them back," said Rose confidently. "We'll just have to attack them more directly next time."

"There might not even be a next time," continued Eric, his voice filled with despair. "Your attacks barely fazed them. They threatened widespread destruction. I- I don't even know what those two are capable of."

"There's a good chance that they don't know that either," commented Entei. "They said they couldn't even leave the shoreline before now. It's probably just a bluff."

"Maybe some other trainer will capture them," suggested Jeremy. "I'll bet a lot of collectors would pay big money for one-of-a-kind creatures like those Glitches."

Eric sighed. "They can't be captured. Not without better technology than my Master Ball, and now even that's gone."

Rose looked contemplative. "I wonder if Team Rocket has improved the Master Ball design since you got yours, Eric. I'll have to look into that."

Her voice trailed off as a large black helicopter approached the island, the roar of its whirling blades deafening in the silence. It hovered overhead as a side door opened and a rope ladder dangled toward the sands of Cinnabar.

Eric's face turned deathly white. "It's... it's Giovanni. He's found out about the Glitches and come for me." He looked ready to faint.

"Why don't you have Kadabra use Teleport again?" said Jeremy. "It worked last time."

He stopped as he heard a commanding female voice issuing orders from the helicopter hovering above. "What is your major malfunction? Get down there and inside the Pokemon Center! And I mean now!" the voice shouted. Immediately, Rocket Grunts clambered out of the black helicopter and down the rope ladder.

"I know that voice! It's my mom!" cried Rose excitedly. "My mom's here! Hey, Mom! It's Rose!"

"Rose? Really?" asked the voice. A moment later, a tall, dark-haired woman wearing the uniform of a Team Rocket Executive gracefully slid down the rope ladder and embraced her daughter.

"What're you doing here, Mom? Another mission?"

"Actually, I heard that the police took your Articuno when they nabbed you, so I was sending the boys to get it back. This freak power outage turned out to be a perfect opportunity. We were heading for the police station next to break you out."

Rose beamed. "Oh, Mom, you're the best! By the way, I want you to meet my friends. This is Eric, he's a Pokemon Professor, and Jeremy, a Pokemon trainer, and Entei. Guys, this is my mom, Desiree."

"Nice to meet you," Jeremy and Eric said, almost in unison.

"I can't believe you captured an Entei." Desiree sounded impressed. "Those Pokemon are extremely rare."

"I wouldn't exactly say she 'captured' me," chuckled Entei.

"And it talks?" gasped Desiree. She smiled. "You've really outdone yourself this time. You know, it's a good thing you're my daughter, or else I might be tempted to bring your Entei to the Boss myself."

Jeremy grinned. "I can definitely see the family resemblance."

Suddenly, twin flashlight beams darted around the Pokemon Center.

"Didn't that explosion come from around here?" asked a male voice.

"I don't know, Johnny," answered an Officer Jenny. "We'd better look for any suspicious activity!"

Before anyone could move, the flashlight beams found Jeremy and his friends. Eric shielded his eyes from the sudden brightness, a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek.

"You there!" shouted Officer Jenny. "I need you to come with us for some questioning at the police station."

"No, you don't," replied Desiree, pulling a Poke Ball from the pocket of her Rocket Executive's uniform. "Go, Eevee!"

"That's the best she's got?" mumbled Entei, arching an eyebrow.

"Sand Attack!" Desiree commanded. Bucket loads of heavy, wet beach sand were flung at the officers as her Eevee rapidly dug its paws into the ground.

"Now - Hyper Beam!"

The sand-blinded officers were flung backward into the ocean as the energy beam hit them point-blank. Their flashlights flew in opposite directions.

"That's one hell of an Eevee," commented Entei. "It's gotta be at least level 80."

"Amazing what a little Team Rocket love can do, huh?" asked Rose, smiling proudly. "Ordinary Eevees can't even learn Hyper Beam until after they evolve."

"Climb aboard, quickly. We have to escape before they can see again."

"Excuse me, ma'am, but where are we going?" asked Eric hesitantly.

"Team Rocket Headquarters. You'll be able to avoid the cops for a few days until they get sick of hunting you down. If I know anything about the police, they have remarkably short attention spans. They usually give up on escaped convicts after a couple days."

Eric's face paled. "We-we're not... going to run into... Giovanni, are we?" He gulped audibly.

Desiree laughed. "Do you really think the Boss is going to be up and about at this hour of the night? Why do you think he has Executives? We handle the leadership roles while he's indisposed. Nights, weekends, even Persian's vet appointments. Once we get you inside, you'll be practically invisible to the Boss unless you royally screw up."

"Speaking of screw-ups, I wonder what ever happened to Botch?" asked Rose in an innocent voice.

*****

"Before we do anything else, we'll need to make a stop at TR Supply and get you boys some uniforms," commented Desiree as the black helicopter neared the imposing Team Rocket HQ building. "People will ask a lot less questions if you're dressed like Rocket minions."

"But I don't want to be a minion," said Jeremy, a hint of a whine in his voice.

"What do you think will seem less suspicious: an unknown flunky wandering around HQ, or a Class A member who can't find the bathroom?"

"You've got a point."

"Besides," added Rose, "new members are showing up in HQ all the time. If anyone asks, we can just say that I found a couple of new recruits in prison. It's not that far from the truth, is it?"

"Uh, I don't think you'll find a uniform for me," rumbled Entei. "Am I going to attract too much attention?"

"It shouldn't be an issue," replied Desiree briskly. "Team Rocket members are always showing off powerful Pokemon they've captured or stolen. Although I'd keep quiet if I were you... a strong Pokemon is one thing, a talking Pokemon is quite another. Rose's friends' talking Meowth is the exception, not the rule."

"I'm sure you don't want to be experimented on," added Eric. "When I worked as one of Giovanni's scientists, we were always told to report any unusual Pokemon to the Boss. We certainly don't want that kind of attention right now."

"You should all be fine. It's pretty easy to blend in, since you'll be dressed like all the other minions. Just try not to draw attention to yourselves."

As the helicopter landed, Desiree hurried the group out of the pouring rain and into the HQ lobby, its yellowish lights welcoming in the gloomy night. The grunt on desk duty arched an eyebrow as the group of non-Rockets entered, wiping rain from their eyes.

"I assume you've all got ID badges?" he asked in a tired voice. It was obvious he'd been working a long shift and wanted to go to bed.

"We've got some new recruits here," Desiree explained briskly, flashing her Executive ID badge. "They don't have their ID badges yet."

"Fine, whatever. What about that?" The guard gestured toward Entei.

"Oh, he's mine." Rose rummaged through her backpack for her Team Rocket ID badge as Entei playfully nuzzled her shoulder. "But he doesn't like being inside a Poke Ball."

"Fine, whatever." The guard shrugged, pressing a button that opened the sliding doors to the rest of TRHQ as Desiree hustled the group inside the huge building. Can't wait till my shift's over, the guard thought, suppressing a yawn.

"Hey, Mom? Can you help the guys get their uniforms and stuff? You know a lot more about helping new members than I do."

Desiree smiled. "Not a problem, Rose. It seems like only yesterday, I was getting you ready for your TR orientation."

Rose blushed slightly. She quickly changed the subject, hoping her mom wouldn't dredge up any embarrassing memories. "Well, since I've already got my uniform, I might as well head up to my room and change," said Rose.

"Can I watch?" Entei asked cheerfully.

Rose smacked him on the back of the head. "Pervert," she muttered. Entei bounded after her like an oversized puppy.

"We'll meet up in the common room downstairs, ok?" called Desiree. "Try to keep out of trouble!"

*****

Within moments, Rose had transformed herself from an average-looking Pokemon trainer to a Class B Team Rocket member. Outside her room, Entei pawed at the door anxiously, slightly upset that she had locked him out. The girl scooped her five Poke Balls from her backpack and fixed them to her belt before quickly leaving the room and double-locking the door behind her.

"You're lucky someone didn't try to steal me while you were in there," huffed Entei.

"I think a big guy like you can take care of himself," replied Rose with a small smile. "Come on, we've got a little stop to make before we meet up with the others."

She silently led the way down a deserted hallway and carefully opened a heavy steel door which led to a dirty, dimly-lit stairwell. The pair cautiously crept down two flights of concrete stairs. Rose kept glancing over her shoulder.

"Something tells me we shouldn't be here," muttered Entei.

"You could say that," whispered Rose.

Upon reaching the bottom, Rose motioned for Entei to be quiet as she slowly opened the heavy steel door marked with yellow "caution" signs warning about hazardous chemicals, high voltage, and other dangers.

The pair wandered silently through a maze of corridors before Rose stopped in front of a door marked Authorized Personnel Only. "Okay, this is the room I was looking for." she muttered, reaching into her hair and pulling out her combination hair clip/lock pick.

"What are you doing down here?" Rose jumped and spun around quickly. A very short woman with shoulder-length highlighted emerald hair was patrolling the halls with a flashlight and a Sneasel. She was wearing a Class A Rocket uniform and looked displeased.

Rose smiled calmly. "Hey, Sonia. Slow night?"

"You know you should not be down here," Sonia replied, slight traces of a foreign accent in her voice. She crossed her arms across her chest. "The basement is off-limits unless you are on a special request from the Boss."

"Bad case of the munchies," Rose answered quickly. "I'm looking for that vending machine by the labs."

"There is a vending machine on the first floor in the common room."

"Yes, but. the main machine is always out of my very favorite candy bars!" Rose grinned hopefully. "You wouldn't deny a girl her chocolate fix, would you?"

Sonia sighed. "Make it quick. If you are not gone in ten minutes, I will have to report you."

Ten minutes is all I need, Rose thought.

"Thanks, Sonia. I promise I'll be out of your hair soon." The guard and her Sneasel turned down a different corridor. As their footsteps retreated, Rose wedged her hair clip into the door's lock and jimmied it anxiously.

"Honor among thieves?" asked Entei.

"Sonia's a decent person," Rose explained in hushed tones. "She was one of the first people I worked with here at HQ."

Just then, the lock clicked open and the pair scurried inside.

The door opened into the largest laboratory Entei had ever seen. As he stared at the room in surprise, Rose dashed for a distant lab table.

The Legendary Pokemon was busy checking the specs on a powerful-looking computer when Rose returned clutching an armload of pink-and-purple Poke Balls.

"Ok, got what I needed, let's go," she said, grinning. "Master Balls are so hard to come by! Good thing I've got connections."

"This is a seriously nice machine. I wonder what they use it for."

"Let's go!" Rose whispered anxiously, shoving the reluctant Entei out of the laboratory. "We have to get outta here before the guard comes back!"

*****

"There sure are a lot of people in here," said Jeremy, mostly to himself as he looked around the crowded common room. A large group of grunts clustered around a wide-screen television, noisily cheering the wrestling match they were watching. A mixed group of Class B and Class A Rockets were playing cards at the other end of the room, betting coins and Poke Balls. A group of minion girls were poring over fashion magazines and gossiping about the best-looking Gym Leaders. An orange-haired Class B girl was making out with a lanky Rocket grunt on a small sofa. There was even a small table of Executives talking quietly in the far corner.

"Hm. Most reputable trainers would be asleep by now," said Eric, scrutinizing his new Team Rocket ID badge. He glanced around the room cautiously. "I wonder where I can get some coffee."

"Haven't seen you around here before," said a smooth female voice. Jeremy turned around to see a cute girl with yellow ponytails wearing a high-ranking Rocket uniform and a red-and-white cap.

"Uh, we're new here," answered Eric. "Do you know where..."

"I wasn't talking to you," she snapped, and focused her attention completely on Jeremy. "You're pretty cute," she remarked, looking the trainer up and down.

Slightly annoyed, Eric rose from the sofa and wandered toward the vending machines on the far side of the room.

"Er, uh... thanks," replied Jeremy, blushing as red as the "R" on his shirt. He wasn't used to this kind of attention from girls.

"Why don't you ditch that dork and come with me? I'll teach you everything you need to know about this place." She smiled sweetly.

"Um, I can't..." the disguised trainer began. "I'm waiting for..."

"You should know I don't make this kind of offer to just anyone," she continued, twirling a black tulip that seemed to appear from nowhere. "I can tell you have real potential in Team Rocket. I bet you've got some real nice Pokemon too." Her violet eyes sparkled greedily. "Why don't you show me?"

Jeremy reached for a Poke Ball at his belt when there was a loud commotion across the room. He looked up to see Rose entering the common room with Entei. An enthusiastic group of Rocket grunts crowded around her for a closer look at the Legendary Pokemon.

"She's always gotta make a dramatic entrance," muttered Jeremy. He turned back to the yellow-haired girl, but she was nowhere in sight. Shrugging, he returned the red-and-white sphere to his belt and scanned the room for his brother.

Just then, a hand clapped Jeremy on the back. Spinning around quickly, the trainer came face-to-face with a familiar cheerful-looking boy with brown hair.

"Mondo! What's up, man?"

"Hey, Jeremy! Didn't expect to see you here. I thought you were staying legit, but, hey, welcome to Team Rocket! Did you get your unit assignment yet?"

"I didn't really join Team Rocket," he said quietly. "Rose's mom is helping us hide out here for a while."

Mondo looked slightly disappointed. "I see. Of course, it doesn't hurt to keep your options open. Me, I'm still looking for the right partner."

"Hey, that reminds me. There was a girl here a minute ago, yellow ponytails, red and white cap. she wanted to see my Pokemon. Do you know her?"

Mondo sighed. "That would be Domino. She's pretty high up, but she's not above trying to steal from newbie Rockets. I avoid her as much as possible, even though she is pretty cute."

"She was going to steal from me?" Jeremy asked incredulously.

Mondo dropped his voice to a whisper. "Listen, Jeremy, you've gotta lose the naïve idea that anyone who trains Pokemon is a friend. There are some tough characters around here who would take everything you've got and think nothing of it."

*****

"Hey, Rose! Entei! Over here!" Jeremy called once the crowd had dispersed. Rose looked over, and did a double-take when she saw the trainer in a TR minion uniform.

"You know, that's not a bad look for you," she commented, plopping down on an overstuffed chair. "If you ever get tired of being a trainer, just remember that Team Rocket is always accepting applications. By the way, where's your brother?"

"He was here just a minute ago..." began Jeremy, glancing in the direction of the vending machines. He soon spotted his brother, clutching a styrofoam cup, surrounded by three burly Class A Rockets. The largest of the Rockets, a muscle-bound man with facial piercings and a fuchsia Mohawk, was poking the disguised Professor's chest threateningly and brandishing a small knife.

"I've got this covered," said Entei, racing to the rescue while Jeremy and Rose watched in fascination. One Flamethrower, and the leader's pink Mohawk was reduced to smoldering ashes. The Rocket screamed and ran for the bathrooms.

"I never could tolerate bullies," remarked Entei, glaring disapprovingly at the two remaining thugs. The Legendary Pokemon growled, and the two Rockets lost their nerve and fled the common room.

Eric looked more nervous than usual. "The sooner we can get out of here, the better," he said in a shaky voice, resuming his seat on the sofa. "A couple of those thugs wished to relieve me of my Pokemon in exchange for my continued health. At least my coffee is safe."

"Good thing you've got your priorities straight," Jeremy said sarcastically.

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