Child's Play

by Tigerspirit

"Dis is it!" the cat said nervously. "Da Boss is finally givin' us da boot! We're gettin' da pink slip!"

"Don't talk nonsense, Meowth," James said. "If the Boss was going to fire us, he would have just told us over the phone."

"James is right," Jessie added. "Try to have some more confidence."

"Well, believe what ya' want," Meowth said, "but you'll see."

They finally reached the entrance of the Boss's HQ and were ushered into his office by a sentry. The Boss was busily typing on his laptop, unaware of their presence.

Jessie cleared her throat. "Um, sir,... you wanted to see us?"

Quietly, the Boss closed his laptop and looked up. "Yes," he said. "I have to ask a favor of you three."

"Ya' mean you're not gonna fire us!?" Meowth said excitedly.

Jessie quickly kneeled and covered his mouth. "A ha, ha, ha... What he means is... um,.. what's the favor?"

The Boss continued. "I have a meeting to attend at the Main HQ, which, as you know, is located some distance from here. But, my brother has recently entrusted me with the care of his daughter. I do not have the time to constantly be with her, and most Rocket members are required to attend this meeting. That is why I am asking you to babysit her."

"BABYSIT!?" all three cried.

"Yes," the Boss said. "Mi, come here. They have arrived."

From another room, a little girl, no older than seven, with wavy, shoulder-length, brown hair and friendly, large, green eyes came in, riding on Persian's back, as if it were a Ponyta.

Meowth began laughing hysterically. "WHA HA, HA, HA, HA!!! Persian's gone Wild West! Hey, Persian! Where's your saddle!? HA, HA, HA!!!!"

As the little girl got off Persian, it quickly, but savagely, hissed and silenced Meowth.

"Are they my babysitters?" the girl asked.

"Yes, Mi," the Boss said. He turned toward Jessie, James, and Meowth. "This is my niece, Mi. She will be in your custody for one day. Bring her back to my office tomorrow morning, before 10AM."

"Yes, sir!" the trio saluted.

The Boss closed in on Jessie, James, and Meowth, lowering his voice to a threatening tone. "This is not an excuse for you three to stop doing your job," he ordered. "Don't screw this up. If you do, you'll lose more than just your job. Understand?"

"Yes," they squeaked.

Jessie, James, Meowth, and Mi left the building soon after, headed toward their camp. "Wow! I can't believe that you have a talking Meowth!" Mi said. "How can you talk, Meowth?"

"Um... it's a long story," the cat replied.

"What other Pokemon do you guys have?" Mi asked.

"We'll show you when we reach our campsite," Jessie said.

At the camp, Mondo was busily preparing lunch, but he took a break to meet everyone. "Welcome back, Master James and Madam Jessica!" he said. "I see that you have brought a guest."

"Hi!" Mi said. "My name is Mi. Who are you?"

"I'm Master James's and Madam Jessica's assistant, Mondo. Pleased to meet you." Mondo walked over to Mi and shook her hand. "Let me show you around."

"Mondo," James said. "Jessie, Meowth, and I have to catch up with those twerps. Could you please look after Mi, until we come back?"

"Of course, Master James!" Mondo replied. "I won't let her out of my sight. And, remember, if you are in need of any assistance, just call me."

"Thanks, Mondo. And..um... you don't have to refer to me as 'Master'."

Mondo went back to preparing lunch. "Now, what would you like for lunch, Mi? There's not a lot, but we have peanut butter and jelly, some cold cuts, Poke Mac and Cheese, what looks like some leftover tuna..." There was no reply. "So,... what will it be?" Still no reply. Mondo looked around. "Mi, where are you? Did you go to the bathroom? Mi?" He looked all over the camp, but Mi was nowhere to be found. "Uh-oh..."

Meanwhile, Jessie, James, and Meowth were in hot pursuit of the twerps. "THERE!" Meowth said.

The twerps were already engaged in a battle with a Raticate. "Alright," Jessie said. "It's time to make our entrance!"

"HOLD IT!" Meowth said. "Why attack dem now?"

"Why not?" James asked.

"I got a better idea," Meowth replied. "We wait 'til their Pokemon is all pooped out, and den we swipe Pikachu and da Raticate when da battle is over!"

"Sounds like a plan," Jessie said.

"Go, Pikachu!" the twerpy Ash ordered. "Use Thunderbolt!"

"Raticate," some other trainer ordered, "protect yourself with Light Screen!"

"That voice sounds awfully familiar..." Jessie whispered. Suddenly, Wobbuffet popped out of its Pokeball, right into the middle of the battle, causing Pikachu's Thunderbolt to hit it, rather than Raticate!

"WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Wobbuffet fell to the ground, fried by the Thunderbolt.

"YOU DUMBASS!!" Jessie screamed. "YOU BLEW OUR COVER!!!"

"Oh, no! It's the other Team Rocket!" Ash said.

"What do you mean by the OTHER Team Rocket?" James asked suspiciously.

"Well, well... I thought I smelled a rat," someone said.

"It's Cassidy!" Jessie jeered.

"And Botch!" James added.

Butch became enraged. "No, you idiot! It's BUTCH!!"

"Now what are YOU doing here?" Misty asked.

Jessie began, "If you're wondering why we're here, you better prepare for trouble!"

James took over. "You better get used to us and make it double!"

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

"Meowth! Dat's right!"

Cassidy rolled her eyes. "You're saying the motto all wrong!!"

"It's YOU who says it all wrong!" Jessie snapped.

"Alright, that's it!" Cassidy yelled. "We'll just take YOUR Pokemon AND the twerps'-"

"Where ARE those twerps?" Butch asked.

"They were just right.... THEY GOT AWAY!!"

"You wouldn't have been able to steal that Pikachu anyway," Jessie sneered.

"Oh, yeah?" Butch said. "We were closer to getting that rat than you guys have ever been, and we're not even the ones who chase those twerps around all the time!"

Angered even more, Jessie screamed, "Well, at least we're not thrown in jail every time we try to steal from those brats!!"

"Oh, go to hell!" Cassidy said.

Jessie finally reached the breaking point. "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU SPIKEY-HAIRED BITCH!!!" She rushed toward Cassidy, but James and Meowth held her back.

"Jessie, control yourself!" James said. "You'll get hurt!"

"Yeah! Calm down!" Meowth added.

"Ack...she's not worth it, anyway," Jessie muttered.

"Come on Cassidy," Butch said. "Let's get out of here."

Suddenly, a voice called out to Jessie and James. "Hi! There you are! I was looking for you!"

"It's Mi!" Meowth said.

"Mi!?" Jessie asked, somewhat annoyed. "What are you doing here!? You're supposed to be-"

Cassidy and Butch began laughing uncontrollably. "JESSIE!" Cassidy laughed. "I don't ever remember you being PREGNANT! But then again, when WAS the last time we saw each other!?"

Jessie blushed. "What? She..she's not my..."

"Whoa! Who's the father!?" Butch asked. "Hey, James! She's got your eyes!"

James also blushed. "Shut up..."

Cassidy was nearly in tears. "HA, HAA!! How come you two didn't invite us to the wedding!?"

"Maybe they never got married, Cass!" Butch replied. "Maybe that kid was an accident!!"

"Now they HAVE TO get married!!! HA! HA! HA!"

"What are they talking about?" Mi asked. "You two are getting married?"

Embarassed, Jessie was unable to find the right words. "They're...were not..she's NOT...no..."

"Screw dis," Meowth said. "Let's go back to camp."

"Good idea," James said.

Jessie got her Pokeball and recalled Wobbuffet. They walked away, leaving behind Cassidy and Butch, who were still dying from laughter.

That night, Mondo told Jessie, James, and Meowth that he had been assigned to a training class at the main HQ, and that he wouldn't be back for two weeks. After his apology speech for letting Mi out of his sight, which lasted exactly one hour and fifty-two minutes, according to Meowth, Mondo left for the Main HQ.

Jessie and James gave a sleeping bag to Mi, expecting her to fall asleep. "Wait," Mi said, as they left her tent. "Aren't you going to tell me a story?"

"Um... not tonight, Mi," Jessie said. "We're really tired and we have to get up early tomorrow."

"Please? I won't be able to sleep if you don't tell me a story," Mi pleaded.

"You tell her," Jessie whispered to James.

"Fine..." James said reluctantly.

"Where are you going, Jessie?" Mi asked.

"To bed," Jessie answered.

"But, I want both of you to tell me a story."

"What do you need both of us for?"

Mi lowered her head. "Well,...it's just that... my Mommy and Daddy used to tell me bedtime stories together all the time. But, just last year,...my Mommy got sick. Daddy said that she had something called cancer,... and she died. Ever since Mommy died, nothing's been the same."

"Oh..." Jessie said. "Well,... okay."

"What story do you want to hear, Mi?" James asked.

"Make up one," Mi replied.

Jessie began. "Um.... Once upon a time, there were three members of Team Rocket who really wanted to capture a very special Pikachu. But, they had to steal this Pikachu because it already had a trainer, um...."

"Let's call him Twerp," James added.

"That's right. Now, Twerp's Pikachu was always hurting Team Rocket, and Twerp and his twerpy friends always escaped."

"But not today. Today was going to be different!" James continued. "Team Rocket's brilliant, handsome, right-hand man, known as Master Jim, had-"

Jessie whacked James with a frying pan. "Tell the story the way it's supposed to go!"

James rubbed his head. "Yes... As I was saying, he had come up with an ingenious plan that couldn't possibly fail! They would catch that pesky Pikachu with a net!"

"Yes, the brilliant Net Plan... Anyway, TR found those twerps and attacked them when they least expected it! Pikachu shocked the net, but to no avail."

"It was shock-proof!"

"Pikachu shocked the net so many times that it exhausted itself and was unable to resist capture! Twerp screamed and cried and became just plain annoying 'cause he wanted his precious Pikachu."

"But, Twerp couldn't have it. No, no... it was TR's Pikachu now!"

"So TR escaped and brought the Pikachu to their boss. The Boss was so delighted that he promoted all three members to the highest possible ranking and stepped down as the head hancho to make them the new bosses!"

"Then they took over the world and lived happily ever after! The end."

Jessie and James looked down at Mi. "Fast asleep..." Jessie whispered.

"Hmmm....I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult," James said. Both laughed as their eyes met. They gazed at each other for some time, until Meowth walked in.

"Hey, are youse two gonna just stare at each other all night, or are ya' gonna get some sleep?" he said. "We got an early start tomorrow, and da Boss will have our heads if we're late!"

"Good night, Meowth," Jessie said, annoyed.

Fortunately, they arrived at the Boss's HQ on time the next morning. As they entered his office just before 10AM, the Boss looked at Jessie, James, Meowth, and Mi as if they were a three-headed, fire-breathing Gyarados. "You're....on time," he said.

"Hi, uncle!" Mi said to the Boss. "Me, Jessie, James, and Meowth had lots of fun! Can they babysit me again?"

For a moment, the Boss was speechless. "Um....we'll see. Your father's in the other room."

"YAY! Daddy's here!" Mi ran toward the door, but stopped abruptly. She ran back to Jessie and James, hugging them. "I'll miss you. I want to see you again!" She let go of them, and headed for the door. "Bye, Meowth! I'll miss you, too!"

There was an uneasy silence after Mi left. Finally, the Boss said, "....I don't know how you pulled it off..."

"A ha, ha..." Meowth laughed. "So,.... how 'bout a raise?"

Jessie swiftly covered his mouth. "Ha, ha...he's just joking, of course..."

"Just do your job," the Boss ordered, and he walked out of the room.

All were silent as they returned to camp. Jessie walked on, looking a little sad, and James fiddled with a bottlecap in his hand. It was Meowth who broke the silence. He began laughing softly.

"What's so funny, Meowth?" Jessie asked.

"Oh,... it's nothin'," the cat answered.

"No, really, Meowth," James said. "What is it?"

"Well,.. it's just that.... who would have thought dat youse two'd make such great parents!?"

Jessie and James blushed a deep crimson. "Are...are you INSANE!?" Jessie retaliated. "That little brat was driving me nuts! I was about to kill her!"

"No," Meowth said. "Youse was about to kill CASSIDY."

"Shut up!"

"Don't deny it! Youse wanna have kids, too, right, James?"

"You're joking!" James said. "They're soooo annoying!"

Meowth started to sing wedding songs. "Here comes da bride, here comes da bride!"

By now, Jessie and James looked like active volcanoes. "SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE FLEABAG!!" Jessie screamed.

"So, what are youse two gonna choose as your wedding song?" Meowth asked. "Ya' know, I've always liked dat one by Bon Jovi...er..um..what is it called?...Oh, dat's right! 'Always'!"

"I'm THIS CLOSE to murdering you, Meowth!" James threatened.

Meowth began to sing again. "And I will love ya', baby, ALWAYS!!"

The trio continued down the dirt path toward their camp, arguing, bickering, and fighting all the way.

DA END!

BACK to Fanfics
BACK to TR's Rockin!